She Swallowed Burning Coals
by QLGingerBlade
Summary: "Th-there's someone inside!" The group clambered to look in with her, and saw that there was indeed someone in there. She was floating horizontally, obviously in a deep sleep with her hands on her chest, gripping a sword very familiar to Bon. "The Kurikara…" Fem!Rin, MASSIVE AU Rebooted under penname PastryFudger
1. Chapter 1

**AN: i know what you're all thinking. something from qlgingerblade? in my notifications? holy buttfucking christmas, what a wonder-**

**oh.**

**it's not an update.**

**soooo, yeah. sorry 'bout that. and all my stories that i've posted the first couple of chapters of and never updated. haha.**

**regardless, eyyyyyyy i'm back!**

**you guys didn't know it, but i was in japan for two weeks, visiting my grandparents, who don't have any wifi. considering how much of my free time is spent reading fanfics, i figured i might as well write some instead. i, uh, kinda wrote five. **

**this one, which is the only non-crossover (hehe woops) is about 18 pages long on google drive, and that's just what i've written. i've got a lot planned, and i actually feel obligated to finish it for once. **

**on the title of the fic: you would _totally _never guess it, but im a video game nerd, and i love the hotline miami games. 'she swallowed burning coals' by el tigr3 is from the second game, and oen of my favorite tracks from the ost. i would recommend you give it a listen. i really makes me think of fem!rin when she unsheathes out the sword.**

**without further ado, here's some warnings before you read the fic:**

**yukio being an asshole, bon not being an asshole, shima being a pervert, major au, fem!rin**

* * *

Bon had really though Okumura Yukio was an alright teacher.

He was kind, calm, understanding, and willing to help his students no matter what.

It was probably because they were all the same age so he understood their problems, but he made a much better teacher than the others.

That was, at least, until the Mission, as the cram school group had taken to calling it.

* * *

They had been in class when Okumura got a call. They couldn't tell what he had heard, but his facial expression went from calm to furious.

"Class dismissed," he said coldly, grabbing his coat and guns, and pointedly leaving the classroom.

"W-wait, Okumura-sensei, is it a mission? Could we shadow you?" Bon asked. They had done nothing but study for the upcoming Exwire exam, but some field work might help.

The teacher made a noise of annoyance, but beckoned for them to follow.

The group rushed with him out onto a train bound for Tokyo, and after leaving the station, rushed to what seemed to be a monastery.

"Yukio!" Three priests dashed forward, and they quietly told him what was going on, so quietly the students couldn't hear, but Yukio's face got even angrier somehow, and the students were unable to say anything, for fear he would snap at them.

"Follow me." Yukio hurried into the monastery and the cram school group followed, and they started going down seveal staircases before arriving to a room that Bon could tell was heavily guarded and warded.

"Protect this door. No one goes in or out, and it doesn't open. Am I understood?" The normally kind Yukio had been replaced by something else, it had seemed with the tone of his voice, but the cram school responded with a chorus of "Yes, sir"s and readied themselves for whatever seemed to be approaching.

After about fifteen minutes of standing around, guarding the door, a large explosion could be heard overhead, and Izumi and Shiemi summoned their demons just in case.

"Man, what do you think is behind the door to get him so riled up?" Shima asked.

"Whatever it is, Yukio-sensei seems awfully protective of it. I don't think we should ask," Konekomaru replied, adjusted his glasses.

They all paled at that and silently agreed, and Shima looked a bit put out at that, and slightly bored.

"That doesn't mean we can't guess, though," Konekomaru said, "just not within his earshot."

"Maybe it's some important books or summoning prayers," Bon suggested.

"Maybe it's a weapon," Pakkun said.

"M-maybe it's a special medicine," Shiemi stuttered quietly.

"What if it's a powerful demon, sealed on Assiah to prevent it from returning to Gehenna?" Shima said in a dramatic voice.

They were interrupted by a growl at the top of the stairs.

A large Hobgoblin was grinning and drooling at them.

Bon reacted first, and began to recite the prayer to get rid of it.

The Hobgoblin pounced at him, and Shima hit it back with his miroku while Izumi's foxes growled.

Unfazed, the demon pounced once more, not at Bon, they realized, but at the door.

It hit it, but a protection on the door repelled it, bouncing it back.

Bon finished the prayer, and the Hobgoblin was destroyed and sent back to Gehenna, but the door was slightly dented.

"I hope there aren't more of those," Shima whispered quietly.

Coal Tars suddenly streamed into the room, also heading for the door, and in a large bunch, began to rush themselves into the door.

The protections seemed to be holding, for the most part, but with so many of them, the door was starting to break, and the crack of wood could be heard.

Izumi's foxes began to erase as many as possible, but the damage had been done. The door was barely hanging on its hinges.

Once the Coal Tars had been eliminated, the group took a collective sigh.

Bon gritted his teeth. "Man, where the hell are Takara and Yamada? Those freaks completely skipped town!"

Shima was about to respond when Shiemi gasped.

"What is it?" Konekomaru asked, looking at Shiemi, who was peering through a crack in the breaking door.

"Th-there's someone inside!"

The group clambered to look in with her, and saw that there was indeed someone in there.

She was floating horizontally, obviously in a deep sleep with her hands on her chest, gripping a sword very familiar to Bon.

"The Kurikara…"

She wore a dress of pure white, with a long skirt going to her ankles and thin straps, dipping in a shallow V to show the top of her breasts. Her hair was long and dark, almost blue in the faint light of several candles lit and floating in a circle around her. Her feet were bare, and her skin pale, like it hadn't seen the sun in a long time. The skirt and hair were still pulled by gravity, making it seem like she was floating up to heaven.

Several protective stones lay on the ground, glowing faintly and providing a blue barrier around the girl.

"She's beautiful," Shiemi breathed.

They were once again interrupted by several growls, and a bunch of wolf-like demons bounded down the steps.

Yukio yelling angrily could be heard above them, and the demons were soon followed by the irate exorcist.

He looked even angrier at the broken door, and began to shoot a few of the wolf-like demons, who finally broke through the door, before something with white hair and horns barreled into the exorcist and knocked him against the wall, before rushing after the wolves and into the room.

Yukio stood and snarled at his students. "What did I tell you?!" he questioned them, and they stepped away from him in fear. His head was bleeding lightly, and it only made him look scarier.

He stalked down the stairs, following the demons into the room, and was promptly thrown out.

He got up again, struggling slightly. "Fuck, you stay away from her!"

Izumi's foxes went into the room first, and started to fight with the wolf demons, and the cram school students and teacher went in soon after, weapons (if they had any) at the ready.

The horned demon turned and glared at the group. He seemed to be chanting something in an unknown tongue, so he said nothing to them, and the group, apprehended by the wolves who dipped and dived, avoiding their attacks, were unable to stop him as his chanting began to tear down the barrier around the girl.

It finally broke, and the protective stones dropped to the ground while the girl dropped into the demon's waiting arms.

"Don't worry, my lady," the demon said, "soon, you will be returned to you real father…"

Yukio growled and sent several shots over the wolves at the horned demon, which hit it in the heart and the back of the neck, and it toppled over in pain, dropping the girl, who was now awake and looked very confused.

"Yukio?" she asked, and she struggled to get up, gripping the Kurikara very tightly, and using it to stand.

"Rin, here, go with them," Yukio said, pointing at the cram school, and the girl tried, but the wolves blocked her, surprisingly not growling, but more or less guarding her.

She frowned, and began to unsheathe the sword.

"Nee-san, no!" Yukio called out, but he was too late.

She was suddenly alight with bright blue flames, and with a swipe, took down three of the wolves. The other two shied away from her in fear, and she, still on fire, went towards the group.

"Yukio, what's going on?" she asked as she passed him, but he just shook his head, and reloaded both of his pistols with new bullets, and unleashed both clips into the head of the horned demon.

"Yukio!" she called out, slightly horrified, and he turned back and gripped her by the arm, starting to drag her up the stairs.

"We have to go, sheath your sword," he said, and she struggled against his grip. The cram school students followed, shocked at the flames.

She sheathed the sword, and started using it to bat at Yukio's hand, which was still tightly gripping her arm.

"Yukio. Yukio! Hey, that hurts you, asshole!" She swung at his head, and he ducked, catching it with his other hand.

"Rin, we have to go," he said, and the cold fury from before was back in his eyes.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't struggle if you would just let go! How long have I been locked up in there anyways?! You were never that tall! And my hair's so long! Why am I wearing a dress?! When the hell did I get boobs?!"

Yukio did not respond, continuing to drag her up the many staircases before they finally arrived at the upper portion of the monastery — or rather, what remained of it.

"Holy shit," she breathed, and Bon took in the damage. Several demons were still running around, but many of them were being eliminated by the several exorcists who had arrived. The building was just bare bits of wood and stone now, and what remained of the roof creaked dangerously overhead.

Yukio continued to drag the girl out to a familiar pink car, shoved her in and closed it firmly behind her.

Then Yukio turned to the cram school students. "If any of you speak of her, I'll kill you myself."

They gulped, and followed him into another car, and began the long drive back to True Cross City.

Bon's opinion really changed that day. The girl, Rin (he barely remembered her name), was Yukio's sister, or so it seemed. She was obviously connected to demons somehow, to have blue flames, and she had the Kurikara. She was a gigantic mystery, and Bon intended to find out who and what she was.

But worst of all had been Yukio's behavior. To treat his own sister like that…

* * *

Rin was pissed.

She never would've let her hair get this long, she was wearing a dress, she had boobs, which she didn't remember having, and Yukio was being an asshole.

And now, he had just shoved her into a car and slammed the door.

"Fucking Yukio," she muttered angrily.

"Rin, don't talk that way about your brother."

She looked in surprise. "Dad?"

Fujimoto's smiling face was before her, and another man was there as well, though he looked ridiculous.

"It's been a while," her father said, and yeah, it really had. Rin had never remembered having such a long dream.

"Old man, what's going on?"

Fujimoto sighed. "I had hoped I would've been able to have this conversation with you sooner, but they wouldn't let me. They made me seal you away when you turned twelve, and now that you're fifteen, they're regretting it."

"I'm fifteen?!"

"I… yes. You've been sealed away for, obviously, a long time. You see, you're—"

"—the daughter of Satan?" Rin finished.

"I, yes, how did you—?"

"I had a weird 'dream' while I was… 'sealed away', for lack of better terms. There was nothing but darkness, a blue flame, and a voice, and it's told me a lot, but… three years?"

Fujimoto was obviously very shocked by this. "What?! What did it tell you?!"

"I-it told me I was the daughter of Satan and some lady named Yuri. Said Yukio was an exorcist, said I was powerful, said I could use 'the blue flames of Satan' or something, said that this sword held my power, stuff like that. It also kept me up to date on my studies, surprisingly, and taught me a lot of stuff about... myself. My body. What's I'm going to grow up to be as a half-demon. It spent more time talking about Yuri though."

Fujimoto looked very troubled by this. "Is that all it told you?"

"Y-yeah! Well, basically, it told me about some demons and Gehenna and Assiah and stuff too. Why?"

He sighed again, and Rin thought he didn't look three years older, but twenty. "Never mind. I'm sure you have several questions. I'll do my best to answer them, so… ask away."

Rin had a million. "Yukio is acting really weird. What's up with him?"

"He's been fiercely protective of you ever since you were sealed away, and has risen in the ranks of exorcists to protect you."

"Yeah, well, tell him not to be such an asshole. I'm his sister not his girlfriend. He can't just boss me around like that."

"I'll be sure to pass the message on."

"Alright, next, who's this clown?" Rin gestured her head at the weird guy next to her dad — she was just realizing he was wearing poofy shorts and tights of all things — and the guy smiled.

"I am Mephisto Pheles, my dear!" the man flourished his top hat and gave her a happy nod. "I am the headmaster of True Cross Academy and—"

"—wait a minute, you're Samael!"

Mephisto's words died in his mouth, and Fujimoto choked on his spit.

"The voice in my dreams told me about you! You're kinda like my brother, huh?"

"I, ah, if you want me to be?"

Fujimoto looked at the King of Time with a furious look, and the demon shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, that'd make you a better brother than Yukio, considering the jackass he's been."

"Rin, don't talk about your brother like that!" Fujimoto gave his daughter a condescending look.

"I'll talk about my snot-nosed little brother however I want! Are we even related?!"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you are! Twins, although fraternal! You've known that for years!"

"I mean you and me! Am I adopted?"

Fujimoto sat back, a little shocked. "Yes. You and Yukio are both adopted. As the flame told you, your mother is Yuri, and you father is… Satan."

Rin nodded in acceptance. "I… I got over that a while ago."

Fujimoto smiled. "That's good. Am… do you still see me as you Papa?"

"No, I see you as my dad, idiot!"

The Paladin smiled once more.

"C'mon, call me papa, just once, please?"

"Hell no!"

The two squabbled for a few minutes before Mephisto coughed into his fist.

"Ahem! Now, the question is, where will Rin be staying, and what will she be doing?"

Fujimoto thought for a moment. "She could stay in the dorm Yukio's staying in, and I suppose she could go to the Cram school to become an exorcist—"

"Woah, who said I wanna become an exorcist?" Rin interrupted. "I'm not doing that!"

"Rin, you don't technically have a choice. You have to learn to kill demons or the Vatican might seal you away again, or worse, kill you!"

Rin ground her teeth, noting she had new canines, which was a little odd. She didn't want to become an exorcist, she wanted to be a chef!

"Fine! But don't expect me to try to do well!"

"You might have to. Yukio's a teacher there, and we both know he has his ways of getting you to do stuff."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek in exasperation. She did not want to look Yukio in the eye right now.

The rest of the drive was filled with talk of the rest of the school term.

* * *

There was no class for the weekend, something Bon was grateful for, as it let him think on what had happened.

"That girl was kinda cute, huh?" There was Shima, always thinking about girls.

"Shima, please. You're a priest. Please focus on studying to become a proper Aria." And that was Konekomaru, trying his best to keep Shima on a straight path.

"Hey, I'm just looking at the menu, not ordering. All I'm saying is, she's got a nice face, alright? And her rack looked—"

"Okay, okay," Bon interrupted. "Let's not go there."

Shima smirked at him. "Oh? Someone else think she got nice boobs?"

"Fuck off!"

"Such language! Not what I expect of an up and coming priest!" Shima held his hand to his heart in fake hurt.

"I'm going to break your fucking nose if you don't shut up—"

Bon effectively forgot his train of thought from earlier.

* * *

**AN: before anyone asks about pairings or anything, i've got that all planned out :3c**

**feel free to come and go, i dont mind. just seeing that someone has read my story is more than enough for me. if you see any plotholes or grammar mistakes, please tell me and i'll explain if they aren't too spoilery.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: hey, here's chapter two.**

**also, man, i missed a fuckton of news while i was gone. bloodborne, ray's leaving AH, bbq pack for payday 2, rvb season 13, next thing i know i'm gonna miss my own damn birthday. but thats not for another few months, so im good. my brothers birthday is coming up though, good thing i already bought him a present.**

**without further ado, here's the warnings for this chapter:**

**yukio being an obsessive older brother, rin being violently pissed off, bon being the fucking drill in payday 2, shiemi being shyer than shia labeouf, shima failing at flirting, spanking, a bad sibling relationship, yadda yadda yadda.**

* * *

Yukio knew his sister was mad at him.

But for her to not only ignore him, but ignore him for a whole day was ridiculous!

"Rin! I know you're mad at me, and I'll admit, I did go a bit overboard, but at least change clothing or something! Wear the school uniform or some pajamas—"

"Yukio, you're an asshole."

The younger brother was shocked at how serious it was. She had no playful tone in her voice, and was glaring right at him.

It hurt, really.

"Well, I'm sorry for caring about you."

"Oh, I didn't realize caring about me meant holding my arm tight enough to leave bruises, or dragging me up several sets of stairs, or shoving me into a car."

"We needed to leave the area quickly. We had to hurry."

"Then tell me that and let me follow, not drag me around! You're acting like I'm some idiotic bimbo!" Yukio bit his tongue at that. "I'm your older sister, and I know what I'm doing! Don't treat me like I'm made of glass!"

Yukio nodded. "Alright, fine. I won't do that. But you will need some new clothing. I've arranged for you to go with one of the female students from the cram school. She'll help you pick out some casual clothing tomorrow, alright?"

"Hmph." That meant yes, but she was still angry. Yukio could only hope she would come around soon.

* * *

Shiemi was excited and a little scared to meet Yuki-kun's sister. He had said she was his older sister, by about two minutes, her name was Rin, and that she needed a new wardrobe. That was all he said before he had to get off the phone because of some small commotion in the background.

Fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve, she looked up as she saw Yukio and Rin approaching, both wearing the school uniform, and both with the most disgruntled looks on their faces. They pointedly refused to look at each other.

"Good morning, Shiemi-san," Yukio called out, waving slightly.

"Good morning, Yuki-kun," she replied, and she turned to Rin, and said, "G-good morning, Rin-san. I'm Moriyama Sh-Shiemi. I hope we can become friends!"

Rin waved hello, and shooed Yukio away, who looked miffed, and stiffly said goodbye to them both before leaving.

"A-are you two not on good terms?"

Rin nodded. "Not right now. If he apologizes, maybe, but he's too proud."

Shiemi frowned, but made no comment, and set off with Rin to look for something the girl could wear.

* * *

Shima had dragged out his two friends to go to the shopping strip of True Cross City, or as he put it, to "check out hot chicks."

Bon only agreed to go because there was a book he was looking for, and Konekomaru went to make sure Shima didn't get himself in trouble.

It had been quite the surprise to see Shiemi standing outside a clothing store.

"Oh! Hello, Shiemi-san," Shima called out. The blonde girl turned in surprise, and waved happily, before beckoning someone over.

"Good day, Shima-san, Suguro-san, Konekomaru-san!" Shiemi looked as stunning as ever in her kimono, and trailing behind her, in the True Cross Academy uniform, was the girl from just two days before.

"Hey," she said nonchalantly. Her hair was now in a high messy bun, and the tie was missing from her blouse, which was unbuttoned just a little bit, showing off her collarbone.

"Ah! You're Yukio's younger sister, yes?" Shima asked, and the girl's eye twitched at her brother's name.

"Actually, I'm older than him by two minutes. I'm Rin. You are?"

"I'm Shima! This here is Konekomaru, and this spiky-haired ass who's been a party pooper for the past hour and half is Bon." Shima gestured to both of his friends when he mentioned them, and Bon pursed his lips to prevent himself from saying anything disgraceful in front of ladies.

"Pleasure to meet you, Rin-san," Konekomaru said, bowing slightly. "Judging by the uniform, can I correctly guess you will be attending the academy soon?"

"Yeah, I'm still sorting things out for now in concerns to regular school, but I'll be attending the cram school starting tomorrow," she said, then quietly, "even if I don't wanna."

"You don't want to learn to become an exorcist?" Bon asked curiously.

"I don't particularly care for it. I'd rather start my own café, but dad's forcing me."

"Dad?"

"Mmm. Fujimoto Shiro."

The three boys gawked. "Your dad's the Paladin?!"

"Uh, yeah. I guess you can't tell from the last names, huh? Yukio and I are adopted after all."

Bon nearly had a heart attack at that. Jesus fucking Christ. No wonder Yukio was such a powerful exorcist at such a young age, he had the Paladin for a father!

"Why's he forcing you?" Konekomaru asked.

"I, eh, can't really tell you out in the daylight. I'll be sure to tell you tomorrow, if you still wanna know though."

Konekomaru nodded understandingly, but Shima stepped up.

"Moving on, what's up?" Shima asked, putting on his best flirty face (it looked terrible, in Bon's opinion, but he said nothing).

"Rin-chan is getting a new wardrobe!" Shiemi exclaimed happily. "We've already found a lot of clothing that looks really good on her, but she's been adamant about not getting skirts so it's really limiting our choices."

Rin crossed her arms and looked away with an annoyed expression. "The last time I wore a skirt before today, a guy flipped it, and I socked him so hard in the face I broke his nose _and _his jaw. I got expelled for that one."

Shima, who had flipped a few skirts in his youth but gotten out of the habit of it (he had been slapped a few too many times), gulped, and Bon and Konekomaru both tried to calculate the amount of force required to break both the jaw and nose at the same time.

It was a lot, obviously.

Shiemi, however, made a noise of amazement. "Rin-chan, that's amazing! You must be really strong!"

"I, well," Rin blushed a little. "I do lift weights, yes."

Shiemi started gushing over Rin's muscles, which, Suguro noticed, were rather stiff and large for an average girl.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, but I'd rather get this shopping done sooner than later," Rin said, lightly grabbing Shiemi by the arm. "Bye!"

"Man I hope there aren't too many Amazon chasers at this school or she's gonna have suitors lining up for miles," Shima whispered to his two friends once the girls were a ways away, and they quietly agreed.

* * *

Izumo and Paku arrived early to the class to see that Yukio was early to arrive as well, and clutching his nose very painfully.

"Ah, O-Okumura-sensei, are you alright?" Paku asked, and he turned to her with a kind face.

"I, well, not really. I pissed off my sister and she broke my nose." He had said it like it was nothing, like locking himself out the house.

Paku gasped, and Izumo felt her jaw drop a little. What on earth had he done to piss off a girl that much?

"She's always been a little violent, though, so it's… actually not that bad considering some of the other things she's done. For example, this one time, a guy flipped her skirt, and she hit him so hard she broke his nose and jaw—"

Shima, who was entering the room, sneezed. Konekomaru offered him a handkerchief from behind him, and Bon settled into his seat with a huff.

"Anyways, while she's normally never hit me this hard, it's alright. I… kind of deserved it."

"Yeah, you did," said an angry female voice from behind Izumo, and she turned to see the girl from the Mission walk into the room, clutching a bag and a sword slung over her shoulder. Shiemi was right behind her.

"Stop babying me, you asshole." The girl flopped into a seat, and Shiemi gasped at the broken nose.

"Yuki-kun, what happened?"

"I-it doesn't matter, Shiemi-san. I think we should start class." Yukio, still holding a bloody handkerchief to his nose, began to take roll, and Izumo noticed that Takara and Yamada had once again gotten into the classroom without her noticing.

It was starting to scare her how sneaky those two were.

"Okumura Rin, here, obviously," Yukio said, and the girl made a small 'hmph' in response.

'So her name's Rin,' Izumo thought to herself. 'Latin for Lucifer, the morning star. How ironic.'

Then the class began, and her mind was far from Yukio's mysterious sister.

* * *

Konekomaru had not forgotten about his questions from before, and now that Bon had collected himself, he had some questions of his own.

"So, Rin-san, you said your dad is forcing you to go to the cram school?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Man, you really didn't forget, huh?"

The boy smiled nervously.

"Well, alright. I suppose I should start from the beginning. Fifteen years ago, Satan had the 'misfortune' of falling in love with human woman named Yuri. Blah, blah, blah, lovey-dovey sappy shit, nine months later, I pop out, and two minutes later, so does Yukio. We're fraternal twins, obviously, and I ended up with demonic blood, where he barely has any."

Bon froze. He now had about thrice the amount of questions he had before, but he was too shocked to say a thing.

"Y-youre a half-demon?!" Shiemi asked, and the rest of the students, who had been privy to the conversation in such a small classroom, all seemed shocked (minus Takara and Yamada, but they were weirdos).

Rin nodded. "I guess it's alright to tell you, takes away the shock so you don't get surprised by it later. It's not much a big deal, really. I get the Satanic blue flame powers, pointy ears, sharp canines, I hardly tire, and I have super strength. Oh! And I have a tail." It flicked out from under her skirt (which he noticed was pulled down a bit to cover more of her thighs) and wagged about behind her, as if to make a point.

Bon tried moving his mouth, but nothing seemed to make it out of his lungs. His eyes were fixed on one spot on the wall, and his mouth was stuck open.

Rin waved her hand in front of him and poked him in the chest, but he was still computing what she said.

"I think you broke Bon," Shima said, worried. "He's always hated Satan, so he's probably just trying to understand."

"... doesn't everyone hate Satan?"

"Bon _really _hates Satan."

Rin gave Shima a look of confusion, and he just shrugged. "I'll let him explain when he manages to process your words."

About five minutes later, Bon was spluttering. "Y-you, you're, S-Satan's, I… what?"

"Take a breath big guy. We have months of school together. If you wanna rest a bit and ask your questions later, that's fine. Just don't forget 'em."

Bon nodded dumbly, and went back to his seat, as class began anew.

* * *

"So, you're not joking? You really are Satan's daughter?"

Rin sighed as Bon asked her the question for only the seventeenth time.

"If you ask me that one more time, I'm going to shove your pencil up your nose."

"Okay, okay! I'm just, making sure, ya know?"

She sighed again. "Well, considering Satan himself has told me, yeah, I'm pretty damn sure I'm his daughter."

Bon almost fell over at that. "Y-you've _talked _to him?!"

"Well, I mean, he's not that bad of a father, he was just checking up on me, so, yeah. I have."

"You _talked _to _Satan_."

"He's my father, whaddya expect?"

The rest of the lunch period was easily spent just bantering between the two of them before Yukio suddenly arrived.

"Ah yes, Nee-san! There you are! We were just about to have lunch together, yes?"

"N-no, we weren't—"

He clapped a hand on her mouth and gave her a pleading look, before gesturing at the gaggle of girls behind him.

"I know you hate me right now but please," Yukio begged, and Rin sighed.

"Alright! Let's go! I'm still new around here, so you gotta show me around, lil bro!"

She swiftly dragged him away from the crowd of fangirls, asking whether or not they let you off campus during the lunch break. She did want to check out a few of the cafés.

* * *

Turns out they did not, but Yukio led her to the lunch hall.

"Holy shit, the foods here are amazing! B-but these prices…"

"It is a first-class school, nee-san."

"Well how the fuck are we supposed to afford lunch then?!'

* * *

And thus, they went on a small goose chase up to Mephisto's office.

"We need money, asshat!"

Mephisto looked over with no surprise at the sudden outburst. "Ah! That's no way to speak to your older brother! However, since I'm so nice, I suppose, this will have to do."

He handed Rin a 2000 yen bill.

"Woah! Thi-this bill! So rare!"

"Yes, that will last you for a month."

Rin could swear her heart broke at that. "Y-you're kidding me… I was wrong… you're just as bad as Yukio…" She sniffled for dramatic effect.

Mephisto immediately stood up. "I meant the week! Don't cry!"

Rin grinned. "Sweet! Bye-bye!"

She quickly dragged Yukio out of the office before Mephisto could change his mind again.

* * *

"2000 yen for the week, huh?"

"So that means 1000 yen for the both of us."

"Aren't you paid as an exorcist?"

"I, well, I mean, th-that is to say…"

"So it's 2000 yen for the week for me, and however much your pay is for you."

Yukio had no argument against that, and Rin happily pocketed the money. She had her old wallet retrieved from the monastery (it just barely survived the destruction, along with her favorite jacket which was now too small for her), so it joined a 1000 yen bill and several yen coins.

'I might need more though,' she thought to herself, plans already formulating on how how to get money.

"Say, Yukio, is there a kitchen here?"

"Ah, yeah, why do you ask?"

"Where's the closest grocery store?"

* * *

The next day, Yukio, once more, walked to class with another injury from his unruly sister and easily provoked sister.

"What did you do this time?" Shima asked, worried.

Yukio sat at the teacher's desk and practically melted onto his desk. "I didn't even do it this time…"

"What happened?"

"She made lunches for us, but when we went to check on them the next morning, someone had eaten them… She assumed it was me because there's no one else in the dorm…"

"W-well, at least she didn't break your nose, yeah?"

"She spanked me so hard I don't think my left buttock is ever gonna feel the same."

"Wow. I. Uh. I'm… not quite sure how to help."

"She _spanked me. _She's _never_ done _that_ before."

Shima exchanged a glance with Konekomaru.

"Eugh… regardless, let's start class."

* * *

It was a kitchen demon called Ukobach, it turned out, and Rin and the demon had a daring cook-off, which ended in a truce, and Rin continued to make lunches for the two of them, though Yukio was sad to see that she was still very miffed, and had put a few of his least favorite foods in his bento.

"Woah, Okumura-sensei! For once, you don't look like shit!"

The long-suffering younger twin sighed. "… thanks, Shima."

"You know what I mean! Normally Rin's beat the shit out of you for something!"

"Yeah, I know. This time, she did put a few of my least favorite foods in my lunch though… I hate cauliflower…"

* * *

**AN: i hope you liked the chapter. i know it ended pretty badly, but i wasn't sure how else to end it. don't worry yukio, i hate cauliflower too.**

**make sure to take care of yourself if you've been reading for a while. get some water, get a snack, stretch your legs and back, go to the bathroom, take any meds you might need, all that stuff.**

**if you see any grammar or spelling mistakes or have any questions, feel free to drop by and ask, but i dont mind if you just wanna read and scoot. im gonna post chapters regardless of the amount of reviews i get, so you wont have to worry about begging me for another chapter. rather, beg that my irl shit doesn't fuck me up.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: so, mass effect 4 huh? i'm kind of excited. i hope it's like DA: origins, where you get to really customize your character. i would like to play as a krogan.**

**also i saw an article that henry cavill (plays superman in the latest movies) got so muscular throughout the shooting of the movie that he had to get a new suit for the immortals premiere because the seams on his inner thighs broke due to muscular growth! sounds like something rin would have to deal with, in my opinion.**

**also, i do plan on popping in an OC later (not too much later, i want to introduce him sooner than later), who will undoubtedly fall in love with our lovely rin. does she return his feelings though? (hint: she doesn't. she doesn't have time for romance. she just wants to open a cafe and own a few cats and dogs, damn it.)**

**also, should i write that filler episode where they go to the beach? i'm considering it, mainly because i drew super buff rin in a two-piece, it looked so cute! however, i just want to know my audience's opinion. i'm writing this mainly for me, and it's dedicated to my cat, but i'm open to criticism!**

**regardless, on with the story... that i'm doing a terrible job of writing. sorry about that.**

* * *

"Students!"

The cram school students looked up from their individual conversations.

"We will be having a week-long bootcamp next week. Please make sure to prepare yourselves for that."

Rin swore to mark that day as the day she would move to America. SUre, she wasn't fluent in English, but she could cram it in a week!

Regular bootcamps, with rigorous training resulting in magnificent abs, gorgeous calve, and amazing biceps? Bring it!

Exorcist bootcamps? That Yukio is partially in charge of? Fuck that shit!

* * *

The bootcamp had finally arrived, and Rin was dreading the coming torture. Alas, running off to America was not quite possible in such a small time frame (though she did manage to learn English... somehow), so she decided instead to skive homework and annoy Yukio by reading his nerdy manga.

"Rin! Stop reading my manga!"

"Fuck off, Yukio. I'm getting to the good part. Do they fuck?"

The younger twin adjusted his glasses as the edge of his mouth twitched. His sister's mind may once been twelve, but she easily adjusted to being fifteen. More like eighteen in his mind. Next thing he knew she was going to be drinking sake and bringing home boys. Or girls. Or both.

"No, Rin, they don't. The manga is PG." He cleared his throat and fought a blush at the thought of Junko and Daisuke... nevermind. He wiped some imaginary dust off his pants as he continues to berate his sister. "That's not what I'm here for, though. Please wear something more modest! There will be boys here!"

Rin, wearing a baggy hoodie and a pair of shorts, didn't even blink in her response, and simply laid back on her bed. "Big deal. It's not like I can't defend myself if they try something."

"You know what I mean! Wear something that covers your legs, please! Shima's gonna cream his pants at the sight of you!"

"Fuck_ off,_ Yukio, that sounds gross that you think my legs are sexy. 'Sides, didn't think you had the guts to say something like 'cream his pants'... ah well... but Junko and Daisuke really don't fuck?"

"No, _t__hey don't!_"

"Damn, kinda wanted to see her boobs."

"Okay, you know what—" Yukio made a grab for his book, and Rin threw it at him, hitting him between the eyes with a _thunk_ and knocking his glasses off. He caught it and dusted it off before it could hit the ground.

"Well, since you're making such a big deal about it, I guess I'll change. Bye~!" Rin pushed him out of the room, and Yukio quietly inspected the book to make sure nothing had happened to it. He didn't often use the internet or get to go shopping for manga, so he kept them in perfect conditio—

Ah! A page was bent!

"Rin!"

"What now?! I'm trying to change, you fuck!"

* * *

Yukio stood waiting outside the door to the dorm, and greeted the students walking over.

"Welcome! Come on in!"

He showed them in, giving them each a pair of slippers and everything was going swell when he saw Rin coming down the stairs.

"I said something that covers your legs!"

"These do cover my legs!"

"They barely cover an inch more of your legs!"

"What it's to you anyways, geez!"

"Maybe I'm just trying to protect you—"

"Maybe you're forgetting who it was that fought off the bullies when we were younger—"

"That was _then_, this is _now—_"

"I swear to god, if you don't stop being so anal about my life choices, I'm going to break of your foot and shove it so far up your ass you'll menstruate—"

"Woah now, woah now, no shoving feet up anyone's ass," Shima said, getting between the arguing twins. He looked a bit more scared of Rin than Yukio, with good reason. "Let's just... focus on the bootcamp, alright?"

Rin gave Yukio a deep glare and a thumbs down. He glared back at her.

"Forget bootcamp, these two are gonna be the real hell," Bon murmured to his classmates. They quietly agreed.

* * *

A written test came first, which Rin did her best on, but she figured she bombed it like most of her other tests. She just wasn't too interested in the subject, which was something Dad didn't seem to care about. He was even off in Italy, so she couldn't complain about it to him.

She handed her test in, and sighed, slouching slightly. Fuck. She felt kinda tired.

"While I grade these, I suppose the girls can go take baths first."

Bath? Bath! Sweet! Rin quickly led the girls to the baths, excited to cool down.

Back in the testing room, Shima smiled to himself at the images that came to mind.

"Girls in a bath, what could be better~!"

"Shima! You're a priest, have some decency," Konekomaru admonished, and Shima looked slightly guilty.

"Aww, c'mon. Bon, I bet you'd like to look?"

"Please don't drag me into this."

"C'mon, you flirt with Izumo all the time—"

"You call that flirting?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I don't like her. At all. Period."

"Fine, fine. What about Rin-cha—?"

"You forget, Shima, that there's a teacher present."

"And _you _forget, Okumura-sensei, that you are a first-year just like us, which means you have the same urges—"

"You also forget that the brother of one of the girls in the baths is here as well. A brother who would kill for his sister. I'm sure you understand the implications."

"... right. Sorry."

* * *

Rin took off her hoodie and shirt, watching from the corner of her eye as Shiemi was folding Izumo's clothing and putting it away. The half-demon had convinced Izumo that it would be better for all the girls to take baths at the same time (she bullshitted some stuff about the hot water running out), allowing Shiemi to get a bath the same time as the other three girls.

'She's practically an indentured servant,' Rin thought to herself. She and Shiemi didn't know each other very well besides the shopping trip and inane chatter during classes, and as such, they couldn't really call each other friends. Rin was still worried about the girl. Naive and practically defenseless... if she was any better at memorizing, maybe she'd be a good Aria with how bad she was at fighting.

She was about to pull off her shorts when Pakkun screamed.

"N-Naberius!"

Rin looked wildly around the room for her sword, and cursed when she remembered it was in her room.

"I'll be right back. Izumo, you hold it off, Shiemi, you go get Yukio!"

She dashed down the hall and up the stairs to her room.

* * *

"No, Shima, you're supposed to use lines eight through twelve not six through—"

Bon was interrupted by the sound of someone running by the doorway.

"What the hell was that?"

Yukio opened the door, and watched his sister (half naked!) run down the hall and up the stairs.

"Yuki-kun!" The teacher looked back the other way and saw Shiemi running over as fast as she could in her kimono. "Th-there's a N-N-Naberius in th-the b-baths!"

She looked absolutely terrified, and suddenly, Rin came bolting past her (still half naked!) holding her sword and rushing back into the baths.

"Let's go!" Yukio grabbed his guns and followed his sister to the baths.

* * *

Rin unsheathed her sword in one quick movement, and the Naberius backed up in fear and bowed lowly.

"F-forgive me, my lady, I can only do as my master bids me..."

"Your master? Satan sent you?!" Fuck, and she had really thought he wasn't that bad...

"N-no, our lord would never bring harm on you... I was summoned by an exorcist... with a sword a-and an eyepatch..."

"A sword and an eyepatch, huh?"

The Naberius was still bowing, and never saw the bullets coming. Yukio, guns in hand, glared at the demon from the doorway, before turning to his sister in worry.

"Rin! Are you hurt?"

Shima ran to help the girls. "Izumo, Pakkun, you two okay?"

Rin turned to her brother, and stalked up to him, getting in his face. "Name an exorcist with an eyepatch and a sword, possibly capable of summoning."

Yukio, startled by the demand, backed up and hit his head against a shelf, setting his glasses askew. "Uh, Neihaus?"

Rin frowned. "That creepy asshole sent the Naberius?"

Shiemi gasped. "N-Neihaus-sensei?!"

"Why would he do that?"

Yukio adjusted his glasses. "Regardless of his motives, I think we should leave the girls alone to continue their baths. Boys, let's go."

* * *

After the baths, Yukio cornered his sister. "How did you know that it was summoned by someone who matched Neihaus's description?"

"Well, the Naberius told me."

"Y-you can understand what it was saying?"

"Yeah?"

Rin had a look on her face that could only be described as '?'.

"I. Oh. That's... useful, I suppose."

"Yeah. It is. I'm going to bed. Bye."

"Good night."

* * *

"She found out you summoned it. It told her."

"I tried to stop it from saying anything but it was difficult to distinguish the language of demons from its growling."

A loud sigh. "Regardless, the test must go on. I'll explain the situation to her if need be."

"That would counter the point of the test. I can only hope she can keep a secret."

"Surprisingly, she's better at lying than I am. Always kept secrets longer than me too."

"So she spills eventually?"

"Only if I've spilled. So far, though, there is one secret of ours that neither of us have spilled."

"Oh?"

"I'm not about to tell you, she's murder us both!"

* * *

**AN: this chapter is kinda short, huh? sorry, i just don't wanna cram too much in. i'll try to write more for the next chapter. also, as you can tell, i'm changing canon a lot. this fic is loosely based on canon. similar events, different dialogue, different ways people deal with things, blah, blah, blah.**

**any who, i hope you all take care of yourselves. drink some water, get a snack, crack your back, stretch your legs, take your meds, use the bathroom, the works.**

**i'm gonna go eat dinner now. review if you wanna! have a nice night (or day, or afternoon)!**


	4. i've moved accounts

i would like to apologize to all of you for not updating in what seems to be at least a year. i'm truly sorry. life has been getting in the way of a majority of things.

as such, im here to announce that i've moved accounts to PastryFudger, and will be revamping this story very soon (and actually finishing it! woo!)

im so sorry for the wait. the first chapter (possibly more) will be posted before the end of september.


	5. Reboot!

The first chapter of the reboot of SSBC has been published on my new account, PastryFudger!


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